Daycare: First month and tips
I wanted to write this post for the other mom’s out there who are handing their kids over to daycare during the day. Not that I don’t share love for the stay at home moms, because I do! It’s just that I now know this particular struggle and I felt like writing about it.
The truth about it.
I have always wanted this blog to be about all different aspects of my life and sometimes that includes the struggles too. Not everything or every day has a great story behind it that’s for sure. Starting Ady in daycare has been one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life to date. So for any other mother out there who is about to experience it, I thought I would let you know how the past month has gone for me.
As I just mentioned – a month. It has only been a month since Ady started daycare and I started my new job. There was a part of me that was incredibly sad about leaving my little girl during the day but I also felt really excited about going back to corporate work. That’s just my personality. Staying at home is work but it’s just a different kind. I wanted the kind where I interacted with adults again and used my brain for some other things during the day.
But with that comes a price.
I had to give up being with my daughter all the time. And that was the most difficult thing to do. It’s so hard for me because I have such a love for my daughter that I do want to be with her all the time. But I needed to go back to work. I need to do this for myself for a little bit and at least see how it goes.
So Brett and I looked into many different daycares in the area and while I left with tears after visiting each one, we did find one that we felt good about it. The location was right, the people felt right, and it just seemed like a good place for Ady to be.
The first week was terrible. Not due to the daycare but just leaving Ady. I was stressed and really emotional about it and so was Ady. She was clinging to me, crying, and crawling after me when I dropped her off. Then when I would pick her up, as soon as she would see me she would start crying. It felt like such a long week. I was so upset about it I immediately started to look into nannies. I just thought that maybe that would be best for her. Brett and I decided though to wait it out just a couple more weeks and see if it improved.
Well, luckily it did. It has felt like a really slow transition but it’s not! A month in and it’s completely different from when I was first taking Ady to daycare. Now, she gets really excited when she gets there, sees her friends, and all the fun toys. She can’t wait to play!
Knowing this has helped me tremendously. If the crying was still happening at drop off, I honestly don’t know if I would be ok right now. But it didn’t keep on and while I still miss her deeply during the day, I feel better knowing she is having fun. Here are a few tips I have for any new mom about to take their child to daycare. Just some things I learned and wanted to share as it’s fresh in my mind!
• Trust your gut. We hear this so much as moms and sometimes it’s hard to do this because we worry that people will think we are paranoid. Don’t! When visiting daycares, trust what your gut tells you. I went to one that did nothing in particular wrong but I just had a bad feeling about it. So I knew that wasn’t the daycare for Ady.
• Do a trial run. This one was really hard for me but I am SO glad I did it. The director of our daycare recommended that I bring Ady in for a couple days before she was supposed to actually start daycare full time and before I started work. I had a hard time because I kept thinking that meant even more time away from her before I started my job. I wanted to steal as much time as I could with her before going back to work. But I thought it might be a good idea and it really, really was. I was able to see how our drop off would go each morning and spend a little time there with her playing so that I wasn’t rushing to get back to work. I can’t recommend this enough. It helped me so much.
• Prepare! Make sure you have everything you need for daycare and drop it off beforehand if they let you. I had my whole list of things Ady would need and I made sure to have it all ready to go a week before she would start daycare. I also prepared myself and planned out how my days would go, my outfits, meals, everything. Just prepare as much as you can so you are only having to deal with your emotions, not all the other “stuff”.
• Focus on the positives. I had to really get my mindset into thinking about the good things about daycare. She is learning things, playing with other babies, and getting to play with different toys. Just a month ago I felt so bad leaving her there and now I feel bad if I took her out of there – she is really having fun!
• Go easy on yourself. Hardest one to do I know. This is also why I will never understand the mommy wars. We all need support – moms who work in the corporate world, moms who work at home, all of us! We are doing the best we can, that’s what matters. I question myself every day if taking Ady to daycare is the right thing. There are days when it actually hurts to leave her there and go to work. But then there are days I’m excited for work and I can’t wait for her to have fun playing with her friends. No situation is perfect. So let’s give ourselves a break. Our babies will be ok if they are in daycare. They will be ok.
Hopefully this helps someone else struggling through the same transition! You are all doing great mommies!
I want to encourage you to follow along in my health journey through what I learn and experience. I hope there is something you can take away from Fit Busy Female that inspires you to start taking control of your health and feeling better every day.